No Longer Going to Japan, so...Commissions Open

The worst news of all, after hearing what happened in Japan- my study-abroad program has been suspended, and I can no longer go to the one place I've dreamed of being in for years. Not only that, but this was kind of my last chance to do it, and because it's too late to take courses for this semester, I can no longer graduate on time, either. And job-hunting has been futile for the past months I've been at home waiting for this program to start, so...I don't know what to do. I feel completely broken, and it seems like everything is just....hopeless. I'm sick of people saying, "At least you're safe" or "It'll get better"- that doesn't help what's currently going on. My dream has been crushed, my friends who live in Japan are in danger, my schooling has been thrown upside-down, as have all of my plans for this summer when I was supposed to come back from Japan...and even some emotional crap that has been going on that I was going to move on from during my time there no longer can be so easily gotten rid of. And traveling there in the future for a few weeks is NOT the same as living there with a family for months, studying there, and being able to truly experience the way of life first-hand and grow as a person from that in a way that one cannot in their own country, so no, I'm not taking that as a substitute.
After the excitement and hard work getting everything together in preparation, the ludicrous amount of money I've put towards summer intensives in order to ready myself language-wise, the amount of studying I've done, the effort put in to making everything work out and the things sacrificed in order to let me go...and then the long-time dream of finally being able to go there after the years of wishing, this has probably been the biggest blow to my life since 8 years ago when my brother passed away.

People keep saying there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and I tend to be optimistic when it comes to that, but this time....I don't see it. I'm sorry, I don't. I don't think it's there this time.

In other news, since I'm trapped here with no hope of leaving, commissions are still a go. Feel free to contact about a commission any time.

~TGD